The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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