I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
