guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
