I'm lost and stupid without you.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
