Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
