if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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