Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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