So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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