Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
