suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
