the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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