I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
