Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize