Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
