I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize