meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
