she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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