She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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