I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
