Pappa wants mamma naked
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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