I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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