i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
When are your genitals available?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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