She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
