So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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