She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
