Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
