I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Randomize
