Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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