found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
