This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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