Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
