I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
