Screwed.edu
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
