god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
