she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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