Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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