In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
This can only be settled by a dance off.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
