RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
