Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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