guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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