I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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