I puked a lego.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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