took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
