i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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