this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize