i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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