am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
