What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
