wakey wakey hands off snakey
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Best friends brother. Beat that.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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