totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize