She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
