Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
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I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
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He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
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