I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
