i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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