She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
