drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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