My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize