I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
