I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Let's get the cat blown out
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
