At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
wakey wakey hands off snakey
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
