YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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