Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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